| TitleIX |
 | 0 Comments |  | 264 Read | Aug 08, 2007 |
I am getting completely spanked by the boys in my fantasy league, and not even in a remotely fun sense of the word. This is the first time I??ve been up against anyone without ovaries after spending two baseball seasons dominating my Hos Before Bros girls-only fantasy league, where the vast majority of GMs drafted their players based on themes (fat guys, foreign-born guys, guys with weird facial hair) that coordinated with their team theme song (Baby Got Back, Coming to America and Pencil Thin Moustache, respectively) and one girl tried to draft A Rod and Alex Rodriguez separately, thinking they were two different people. (That??s not a note of condescension in my voice, it??s intense pride??the lone fact that my girls adhered to the ??no calling boys to consult? rule during the draft party was an enormous step for us). I intended to live this season fantasy-free (except for that recurring dream I have where David Wright and I get a brownstone and a puppy together) but wound up sucked into a league at the last minute where I know only 1 of the other 12 managers and quickly fell into the ??token chick? role.
This is fun for a couple of reasons. Primarily, since no one knows me, they??re all free to assume that I??m a six foot Swedish model who trolls roto-nerd.com in her underwear all day (only partially true). They were all terribly lenient with my trade requests (??of course you can have him? so, what do you do for a living??) until I tried to win a bet with my boyfriend by mentioning him in one of my emails (the bet was that they would continue being as friendly once they knew I wasn??t looking for, uh, post-game action. I lost). This was just before a thread on our league message board went about 25 posts deep when someone brought up the controversy surrounding A-Rod yelling at an infielder in order to get him to drop an easy catch. The clash of minds went on for days before I decided to chime in with ??Yeah, but don??t you guys read The Post? He??s also banging strippers. I think he??s headed for a massive US Weekly worthy breakdown, threat level Lohan.? Response: Crickets.
Speaking of LiLo, my actual fantasy plans for this summer were supposed to be starting up a fantasy celeb league (http://www.fafarazzi.com/) so that my extensive, extensive knowledge of Spencer and Heidi can finally be put to a use other than sending my bosses running to monster.com when I start to recount past episodes of The Hills word for word. I??ve pushed it off to the fall so that I can ??concentrate? on coming in third to last in fantasy baseball for the time being, but I??m starting to actively look forward to it. At least then I won??t have to worry about campaigning for the ??Golden Ovary? (ie, highest ranking female) trophy at the end of the season, or rotating my pitchers in accordance to their draconian 8 start/ week rule.Tags:
MLB , NY Yankees (MLB), MLB , NY Mets (MLB) |
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